An Open Letter to the New Occupants of My Home

November 30, 2019
  • An Open Letter to the New Occupants of My Home

Congratulations! I’m so happy for you, this home has loved me as I have loved it for nearly 14 years. I purchased this house when I was 26 years old, with my fiancé, after having moved over 400 miles from my family. My family with whom I was, and still am, very close, and a family that values each other. We value tradition and closeness, we value support and stability. My parents bought the home they currently still live in when I was just a year old. In case math isn’t your strong suit – that’s nearly 40 years.

When we purchased this home, we found a place in which we were confident we would raise our children, a place in which we would grow old together and a place that we would eventually leave to our daughters to do with what they wish when we are long gone.

But life doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes life tests us. Sometimes love and good intentions aren’t enough.

We got married in this home. Literally, right under that enormous tree by the barn. We built the deck off the kitchen so that I could walk out, down the stairs arm in arm with my dad and in between bales of hay to say our vows to love and respect each other forever. Our intentions were good, but who really knows themselves enough in their early 20s to say what will work for them in five, 10, 40 years from that day? Some couples grow together. I know many that have and that is truly beautiful and I respect and envy that. However, some grow apart. That was our reality.

We welcomed two beautiful daughters into this home. They both came home to the same home-made cradle, were transferred to the same home-made crib. They were allowed to decorate their rooms as they wished and they were sung off-tune lullabies against their wishes and read books, recited prayers and cuddled with endless love every night.

This house has seen a lot of love. Those weird, out of place mouldings on the doorway between the living and dining rooms? That was so we could hang a jumparoo for the girls when they were little bugs testing out their muscles. The weird stain on the living room ceiling? Our oldest flung baby food up there when she was about a year old and we left in there as a symbol of her athleticism (still has a pretty sick arm). The brand new door on the kids room furthest down the hall? Our five year old insisted we bring her door to her new house with mom because she decorated it very intricately with stickers over the last five years. Art is art. (I was sure you wouldn’t mind a new door in its place).

The tree fort in the back was built by dad for the kids but was probably enjoyed more by mom with a glass of wine and a good book mid-July. The tire swing was hung by ourselves and good friends visiting from Vermont and we all enjoyed swinging on it. We hope you are better able to maintain the rink dad dug out by the road, sometimes freezing rain storms have made it difficult to keep it clean, but it’s a good space.

We enjoyed taking the girls on nature walks over the six acres to discover bunnies, snakes, butterflies, grasshoppers, and interesting birds. If you walk a bit longer, towards the Colebrooke Bridge, you may spot a fox or two.

Enjoy the fresh honey down the street, the broken down sheds and stream views further down the road. Love the view of the sunset from your yard. It is truly magical and serene. Take some time in the summer to play horseshoes on the pits we built, please allow your pets to spend time outdoors in the enormous dog kennel our Rottweiler loved (we named ours Tonka, and he was such a good protector).

There are many of your neighbours that have enormous amounts of property that probably won’t even know if you wander over to get a better look at nature, to find a place to breath, or just discover a tiny little corner that you can claim for yourself.

If you wake at roughly 4 am in the master bedroom, look outside to find a star that shines brighter than the rest. Maybe it’s a planet, maybe it’s something else, but it’s something that’s constant and comforting.

When the summer comes, embrace the mornings (coming from someone who is a night owl). If you keep light curtains in the master, the sun will intrude at about 5 am. Smile. Turn on the coffee maker. Sit on the deck. Put on a meditation and enjoy 20 mins with the owls and the robins. It’s when the worlds of night and day collide and, as much as I believe it’s waaaaaay too early to be out of bed, it’s still freeing and something I will miss most about this place. Please, at least try it.

I’ll be honest, I tried my best not to leave this place. But I admit it’s for the best that I do. My kids deserve a happier mom, a mom dedicated to THEM and their well-being. And I do believe that is best achieved in a place where I have not experienced such hurt. But be warned, my bestie lives right next door, so if you get the funny feeling someone is watching you, I probably am. Just kidding – but you’ll notice a path between your yard (by the barn) and the neighbours’ around the corner. We claimed it was for the kids to play together easily, or their kids to head over every school morning so I could put them on the bus. But we adults enjoyed easy access to companionship too!

I wish you many years of happiness and health in what is now your amazing piece of the world as I go on in search for my own.

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